My husband and I were greatly looking forward to canoe trips, days at the lake, hiking through the woods and enjoying the outdoors to it's fullest this summer. But we made it the lake once and actually stayed inside 95% of the time! My husband got sick right off the bat. It turned into a severe case of pneumonia, and he was sick for 6 weeks. Immediately after he recovered, I got sick and have had bronchitis for 4 weeks now. On top of that, I had two adverse reactions to medicines I had to take, one of which put me in the emergency room, and the other left me unable to walk for several days. We also walked along-side several of our dear friends and family through tragedy and far more difficult circumstances than our own. In addition, we hosted people in our home for over 3 months, had lots of unexpected medical bills, two car breakdowns (one that I am so thankful turned out as well as it did because it could have been extremely dangerous!) and obviously, a lot more unexpected bills to pay repairs...repairs that ended up costing more than the car is even worth. Once again, everything we had saved was gone in a matter of weeks (I guess that is the point of savings, but still). Needless to say, it was the most unusual summer we have ever had. We did experienced some really great highlights through all that as well (posts to follow...), but it was quite a challenging summer.
For several weeks, I was honestly angry at God. I, for one, was so tired of having ongoing health issues again. But I also felt completely overwhelmed by how difficult life can be. When I was a child, I was sheltered from carrying this weight all the time...and I am incredibly grateful! As an adult, however, I am unable to get over just how broken our world is. Fortunately, through much honest prayer and tears with God, He has taught me a great deal about His peace through all of this.
I received an excellent devotional for my birthday, called Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace In His Presence, and it was a true answer to prayer. I would highly recommend it!!! It has helped me deeply embrace Jesus as our only hope...and it is meant to be so. Although He does not promise to take away our difficulties (and actually tells us to expect them!), He promises His constant companionship through them. He promises His love, peace, strength, and rest...if we find it in Him alone. He also promises He will work everything out for our good (somehow, even though we can't see it usually), and He promises ultimately, that in the end, we will have an eternity of renewed, restored, and unbroken life with Him.
Here are two excerpts from "Jesus Calling", by Sarah Young that spoke perfectly to my heart this week:
"Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situtaions totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where I want you- the best place to encounter Me in My glory and power. When you see armies of problems marching toward you, cry out to Me! Allow Me to fight for you. Watch Me working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow of My Almighty presence."
"Come to Me when you are weak and weary...I do not despize your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been. Do no compare yourself with others, who seems to skip along their life-paths with ease....I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My Presense....Rather than struggling to disguide or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it."
God has completely dissolved my bitterness and has richly blessed me through this unusual summer. He has renewed my trust and reliance upon Him, and He has helped me be at rest in Him, as my Peace.
The best representation of summer to me is Queen Anne's Lace. I was smiling ear to ear when I saw my first queen anne's of the summer! This picture also, named as such, sums up my summer perfectly...
"At Rest", Queen Anne's Lace, Tennessee 2010
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." - Isaiah 26:3
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